Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Dealing with those Emotional High's and Low's

Over the weekend my sister and I were busy clearing out our houses and offices since we are both moving. (She to North Carolina and me to Colorado.) I am always amazed at how our lives run so parallel even though we live on opposite sides of the continental divide! We were talking on the phone and taking a break from all the cleaning fumes when she mentioned an email I sent to her two years before.

The email was about handling your different negative emotional states. How to identify what it is you need to change in your life depending on the emotion you are feeling at the time. I got this list as a compilation of many resources the primary one being,
Resonant Leadership: Renewing Yourself and Connecting with Others Through Mindfulness, Hope and Compassion, by Richard Boyatzis & Annie McKee.

This was a handy book for me to read since I was changing my business model and knew there were areas of my own personality that needed some renewal if I was to increase my effectiveness as a president of an organization.

First evaluate where you may be in theses 5 emotional states:

1. Frustrated
2. Bored
3. Unfulfilled
4. Burned-out
5. Stressed, Anxious, Depressed

Depending on your state, work on the following:
=========================================================
1. Frustrated (Deal with the Manager Self) Capitalize on your Uniqueness
2. Bored (Deal with the Leadership Self) Work harder on your vision then implement changes
3. Unfulfilled (Deal with Romantic Self) Work on your love life and romance needs
4. Burnout (Work on Personal Self) Stop doing what you don't like! Create change!
5. Stressed (Work on Mission Self) What is the one thing only you can do in the whole world?

But what do you do if you are unsure exactly what you want, what your mission is?

Answer the following questions to the best of your ability.

1. What do I want?
2. What do I need to learn?
3. Who do I need to help me?
4. What do I need to feel?
5. What do I need to do?
6. What do I want most right now?
7. What do I NOT want?

By answering these questions and understanding the area of your life that needs help to pull you out of your negative state, you will feel better immediately. I have used this exercise five times in the past three years to pull me out of a negative state of mind. Once I was feeling depressed, another time I was burned-out and this past exercise I used these questions because I was extremely frustrated. Every time I use these questions to center my thinking and refocus my energies, I come away a much better person and my attitude is 100% lighter than when I started the work.

I do hope that you find it as useful as I have. Good luck!

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